Episode 100: How to Navigate Entrepreneurship and Relationships with Rudolph Escarne

Acquania Escarne 0:00

Hey guys, welcome back to the purpose of money Podcast. I'm super excited. This is the 100th episode of the show. And I am joined today by a very special guest, my husband, Rudolph Escarne.

you are listening to the purpose of money podcast, a podcast where we talk about ways to build wealth and create more freedom in your life today. I am your host, Acquania Escarne.

How you doing? Welcome to the show.

Rudolph Escarne 0:30

Thank you for having me.

Acquania Escarne 0:33

So we're gonna switch it up today and we're gonna allow Rudolph to be the host and I am going to be the guest. Now bear with me. I'm a little nervous. I have literally never had anyone else interview me on my show. And especially not my husband. And so let's see how this goes. Aye Rudolph, take it away.

Rudolph Escarne 0:55

Well, let me get this straight. So I get to get on a podcast and chew it actually anything that I want to talk about?

Acquania Escarne 1:02

Yes. Preferably PG, this is a kid friendly show.

Rudolph Escarne 1:05

Okay. All right. And you're nervous, for what reason?

Acquania Escarne 1:09

Because I've never been interviewed by anyone else on my show. And I have no idea what you're going to ask.

Rudolph Escarne 1:17

Okay, that's fair. Me, that's, that's a good thing for my listeners to segment your listeners to kind of lean in on. Alright, so I got I got three things on my pocket today.

Acquania Escarne 1:27

Okay.

Rudolph Escarne 1:28

One, I want to talk through your growth as an entrepreneur

Acquania Escarne 1:31

Okay

Rudolph Escarne 1:32

Two finances and relationships specifically ours, so we're going to put all our business out in the streets for a little bit. And then three more, a little bit more of a controversial topic is are we doing a disservice to our boys when it comes to financial awareness.So those are the three topics and we have four hours to talk about it here. So it should be good.

Acquania Escarne 1:56

I do not think you're going to graciously stay on here for four hours.

Rudolph Escarne 2:01

So let's go that says it's gonna be a very intense conversation. Okay. So as an icebreaker, okay, I like to do this on my team. I like to start with the Would You Rather? Okay. Purpose of money addition? Okay. All right. And the first Would You Rather, would you rather have tonnes of money with no free time, or tonnes of free time with very little money?

Acquania Escarne 2:01

Oh, number two, of course, tonnes of free time with very little money because time is something you can't get back. It is the most invaluable resource we have most valuable resource we have. And I would love more control over my time.

Rudolph Escarne 2:40

Okay, interesting.

Acquania Escarne 2:41

What's your answer?

Rudolph Escarne 2:43

Time? Because that's once you give somebody your time. I think that is that is the biggest show of grace to somebody because that's something you're never gonna get back. And at times, we need to be more selective with how we spend our time. So that's, that's fair. Okay. Your first your first topic, your growth as an entrepreneur. Okay, that's your 100th episode. Yes. What do you think so far?

Acquania Escarne 3:09

I love it. I mean, one of the reasons I started this show shout out to Danielle dizzier was to be able to build community and talk to more women entrepreneurs and mommy preneurs. And that's working. I get positive feedback from the show all the time. And I have some male listeners too. So shout out to those who are guys listening to the show. I definitely think that works in mysterious ways. Because every time I think about ending the show, or taking a long break from the show, I get another testimony. I get another comment. I get another review. And then I keep going. So so far, so good. It's working out. Let's go.

Rudolph Escarne 3:51

So for so good. Okay, so the question on the table. If you think back to your first ever episode, what advice would you give your younger self about? Anything? Entrepreneurship, podcasting? Life? You name it, you fill in the blank, but what would you tell your younger self? Going back to your first podcast that was.

Acquania Escarne 4:12

First podcast episode? Definitely watch what to say I've had people totally quote me in previous episodes, and my mindset on some issues has changed. But I think that's okay. I think that's natural. We as people progress, especially in our finances, so it's totally okay that my opinion changed, but just know that people might refer to it, because the internet is forever and so are those original episodes, but I would also tell myself to decide on seasons from the beginning, because the pressure of trying to put out content every week for ever is a lot and it takes time and you want to fine tune your product as you grow and I don't think the pressure of having to kick out too much content when you're multitasking mom and job and other things in life is the best pressure to put on yourself. So, I probably would have started with fewer shows and shorter seasons, but maybe had more seasons by now. But that's okay, we are still at the 100th episode and in season five, and I'm very proud of that.

Rudolph Escarne 5:21

So how do you go about is how do you go about selecting the topics that you want to talk to your listeners about?

Acquania Escarne 5:26

I actually ask the listeners. So I've had clients suggest topics that we should talk about, I've had guests approached me to be on the show, I still like to focus on building wealth and real estate. So obviously, when someone reaches out to me, and they are in those two spaces, I'm more open to having them on the show. But one of the things I did in season four that I'd never done before is I actually had a man, my first male guests, and then I decided, You know what, my audience could use information and men have to share as well. And it's totally okay, if it comes from someone of the opposite sex. So I've had more males on the show since and I really liked that, because some of the discussions we've had and the perspectives they brought to the show have been really interesting and appreciated by listeners.

Rudolph Escarne 6:14

Well, it was it's a stark contrast what you started before, because he was very used very tight on for a woman by a woman for a woman, this had to come off of that

Acquania Escarne 6:25

I came across a really good story that I thought my listeners need to know shout out to Justin Roderick, the author of Bars to Bitcoin. I read his book where he talks about how he went from prison to a gentleman who got out and made a difference in his community and invested in Bitcoin. And I thought that my listeners should hear that story. Because throughout everything he went through, he still persevered. And he still continues to persevere. He's even pivoted from Bitcoin to coaching. So it is definitely a real entrepreneurship story of how you can transition despite what happens in your life.

Rudolph Escarne 7:03

All right, so a better moment to be vulnerable here. What scares you the most of entrepreneurship?

Acquania Escarne 7:11

Ah, goodness failing. But I think I have a safe fear of failure, I don't think about it too much. I just keep going. And it is it is positive to fail regularly, meaning make mistakes that you learn from and don't repeat them again. So I do have a fear of not being successful as an entrepreneur. But I've had multiple years now to test out different things to grow my team, and really feel more and more confident about what I'm doing. So even though I still continue to make mistakes, I also continue to grow. And I know that I have a knack for making money. Every time I worry about the next financial obligation that I have in the business, something comes along, whether it's the next deal, invoice paid or next client. And so that is the optimism and just abundant mindset that I choose to continue to keep in the business, even though I know that entrepreneurship can be wacky. I mean, I talked to a friend today whose business started at six figures when she first started and now it's having a tough time because some companies are holding back or paying late and that impacts her bottom line. And so when I hear stories like that I get a little nervous, but it doesn't discourage me, I just have to prepare myself for if I see myself going that way that I can reach out to my circle for ideas and ways to get through it.

Rudolph Escarne 8:42

Okay, so that's the first chapter. How do you feel?

Acquania Escarne 8:45

Oh, not bad. I think you did a great job. You asked good questions, and none of them were too hard for me.

Rudolph Escarne 8:51

Okay, so now let's get let's get into the tea now a bit. So finances or relationships.

Acquania Escarne 8:56

Okay.

Rudolph Escarne 8:57

Okay. People, people often say when it comes to money, relationships, you have to run your household like a corporation. Okay? You agree?

Acquania Escarne 9:05

Yes, that can be an effective way to run your household.

Rudolph Escarne 9:08

Okay. And then when you look at the C suite, there's, there's other people that matter, but the two people that matter the most are the CEO.

Acquania Escarne 9:15

Okay.

Rudolph Escarne 9:16

The chief executive officer, and by definition, that's the highest ranking person in the company, okay, ultimately responsible for making manager decisions. And then right after the CEO is the CFO, or Chief Financial Officer, okay, senior executive responsible for managing the financial actions of a company.

Acquania Escarne 9:36

I agree.

Rudolph Escarne 9:37

And in this Escarne enterprise, what role do you play?

Acquania Escarne 9:42

Oh, I definitely play play the CFO. And I think you play the CEO role as the head of our household. I am more than happy to have you lead our family and what we do but when it comes to the finances, I tend to take on the role of paying the bills and networking to make sure nothing's forgotten and scheduling things that you probably would never remember to do.

Rudolph Escarne 10:10

Me personally, so this attack on me right?

Acquania Escarne 10:13

No, this is not an attack on you. But this is we said, we're talking about how we handle our finances. So I'm just letting you know, we, I am the CFO, you are the CEO, but we work together, right? Like we talk about our finances together.

Rudolph Escarne 10:27

We'll get there a little bit. So if you if you as the CFO, can change one money habit about me the CEO, what would that be?

Acquania Escarne 10:39

I would rather do not use the Amex as much as you do.

Rudolph Escarne 10:45

As much as I do. Okay. Go on what do you mean by that?

Acquania Escarne 10:50

Well

Rudolph Escarne 10:51

That's all free money, right? I mean,

Acquania Escarne 10:52

No! So you, I mean, you that is your goal to card. That's literally what you use to pay for everything, which can be a gift and a curse sometimes, right? Because then I have to backtrack, not only the expenses coming out of the multiple bank accounts, because we budget with multiple bank accounts, but then also make sure the capital is there to cover the Amex. And I feel like sometimes, because it's your goal to card and you're just like, Oh, it'll, it'll all settle out later. And,

Rudolph Escarne 11:28

But there are points to be made on using the Amex point like if you're going to have a large purchase, why not get the benefit of having Amex with that purchase?

Acquania Escarne 11:37

Well, I agree with that. But I also believe never go after points if you're going to be accumulating interest. So there is a balance. I think in our finances, yes, we do get a lot of Amex points and we use them. That's one of the things some people can't say they do. But we use them. We use them to travel. We've enjoyed free vacations thanks to the American Express card and additional benefits when we travel because sometimes they will give hotel credit or some other special feature, but they're not sponsoring this episode. So

Rudolph Escarne 12:08

I just find that I find it hilarious. But what can we see the breakdown of our monthly expenses where Amex I'm using that in the lead as far as dollar wise. To separate the cards, it says, What's charged to My Account versus what's charged to your account? You're nine times out of 10, your amount is higher, I have more transactions, yes, I may have more transactions, but the dollar amount is higher than yours. So

Acquania Escarne 12:34

Because I use the American Express card specifically for large purchases, and then pay them off. So we use the card differently. And that's perfectly okay. But that's a part of why you will have more transactions because you use it for everything. And I will use it for the larger purchases that we have.

Rudolph Escarne 12:56

Okay, what do you say? What's the what's my one habit that I'll change about you? Don't you ask me that question. The one thing I'll change about is your inability to sit down somewhere. And I've told you this plenty of times, there's there's a trip coming up in August. And you're already planning the trip after that after that after that, which again, all when I hear these things, all I see is just dollar signs kind of racking up in my head. But one of the things I do admire about you is your ability to make things that I find I may have found as far reaching, you tend to make it attainable. So I was like, you know, you know we're going to we're going to go here vacation a little how are you going to put it so he said it's already paid for it. Because we've been budgeting for it for the past couple of weeks, I think I think you in that mindset is something that I didn't really have growing up. But it kind of make it seems like yo don't focus on a big number right now. But focus on what you can save on a weekly basis since we're about that. And then by the time you look up the money for that trip or the money for that purpose already there. So that's that's one of the things you do well, but I still think that at times need to sit down as far as not being everywhere in anywhere.

Acquania Escarne 14:06

That's that's a fair assessment. I do travel a lot. And I don't always travel with you. Sometimes I travel by myself for the business but I do also appreciate travelling with the family. So that's key, but we have our differences in that you know, I am a person who thrives from travelling and I love being in different places and part of the reason I chose a career where you travel and live abroad is because that's what I desire to do since seventh grade but I do agree that with a home and two kids sometimes it helps to be home more and I am working on that balance but I at a minimum I want to go somewhere every quarter I just I need something to look forward to and I love spending holiday vacation since now we do have to focus on travelling when the kids are off school versus travelling whenever. And I try to maximise that. So we definitely spend a lot more holidays away from home, and not necessarily with other family, sometimes in other countries with ourselves. Well, that's true. That's true.

Rudolph Escarne 15:13

All right, time for another, would you add the question? Okay? Would you rather go back in time and fix your biggest money mistake, or look into the future to find out where you end up?

Acquania Escarne 15:24

Oh, man, that is a tough one, because I would love insight to the future, but I kind of anxiously want to see how it unravels. But I would never want to correct my biggest money mistake, because I know that made me who I am. And I know that contributed a lot to what I do now. Because even when you have the blueprint, because my dad gave me Rich Dad, Poor Dad at 16, and I read it, and I definitely followed a lot of the advice, I still made mistakes. And I just learned from knows and you document and you set up things in your path. So you don't let it happen again, like missing a bill and then deciding to schedule all my bills on my calendar. So I get alerts before they're due. That's definitely a cause and effect situation. Because I missed a payment. I've put my bills on the calendar. So I wouldn't necessarily want to take back on money mistake and I definitely would love a little more clarity on where we're going. So I would rather that

Rudolph Escarne 16:30

You did not answer the question at all.

Acquania Escarne 16:32

I would rather I would rather a glimpse into the future.

Rudolph Escarne 16:36

The glimpse of the future. Okay. Let's just say for argument's sake, you did pick the biggest money mistake. Okay. What do you think is your biggest money mistake? Well relates to our relationship and FYI, there is a right and wrong answer.

Acquania Escarne 16:50

Okay, there's a right and wrong answer. And I don't know what the answer is. I'm sure it's gonna be something I paid for that you didn't agree with.

Rudolph Escarne 16:59

You're you're getting warm.

That's a that's a baseline answer. Yes. Okay. So any more details behind that Acquania?

Acquania Escarne 17:11

Well, I don't know. I feel like I'm definitely being put at the centre of attention with no clues. But let me ask you a question Is the money mistake? What do we both feel like it's a money mistake? Or do only you feel like it's a money mistake.

Rudolph Escarne 17:27

Not so epic and epic follow up question. I think it was a money misunderstanding. Hmm. Yeah. So money misunderstanding or whether they call it a mistake.

Acquania Escarne 17:39

Okay. And how long ago did this happen?

Rudolph Escarne 17:41

I don't know. Let me see maybe like two three years ago.

Acquania Escarne 17:45

Gosh. My husband is stuck on the same money mistake that he continued.

Rudolph Escarne 17:53

It's not a mistake. We said it wasn't a mistake.

Acquania Escarne 17:56

It wasn't a mistake. So my husband is stuck on the same money decision. That he continues to enjoy on a on a bi weekly or I know, twice a week.

Rudolph Escarne 18:08

It's a quarterly basis. I don't think we're talking about the same.

Acquania Escarne 18:11

Okay, we are not. Okay.

Rudolph Escarne 18:12

So, tell me, tell me what you think I'm talking about so that I could know what that is.

Acquania Escarne 18:17

So I thought you were talking about the decision to hire a chef?

Rudolph Escarne 18:21

No, no, that's that. I mean, that I've, I had an opinion about that. It was very strong. But I have since kind of came off of that decision. Okay. Now, it's a state board household. I was thinking more about the time when you like left the entire house, we came back with the entire car.

Acquania Escarne 18:39

Yeah, that's not totally true. I have.

Rudolph Escarne 18:44

Okay, yes. Yes. Or no questions Acquania.

Acquania Escarne 18:47

No.

Rudolph Escarne 18:47

Did you leave the house in one car and come back in another?

Acquania Escarne 18:52

Yes.

Rudolph Escarne 18:53

Okay. So how was that? How was that not a misunderstanding? Did we have Okay, definitely. There's no question. Did we have a conversation about sent car?

Acquania Escarne 19:02

Yes.

Rudolph Escarne 19:03

Really?

Acquania Escarne 19:04

We did. Did I not ask you to? Rudolph your attorney? Yes or No question. Did Acquania I did. I asked you to go car shopping with me that we had over the weekend.

Rudolph Escarne 19:16

You said yes. You did.

Acquania Escarne 19:18

Yes. Okay, so when it was time to go car shopping, are you ready to go?

Rudolph Escarne 19:23

I was not ready to go.

Acquania Escarne 19:24

Okay. Did you communicate to me that you did not want me to still go car shopping without,

Rudolph Escarne 19:30

But I'm confused. So if we go back to the setup question I gave you before. As far as the role that you play in this learning enterprise, you said very adamantly you play the CFO role.

Acquania Escarne 19:41

I do. So,

Rudolph Escarne 19:42

Do you think the purchase of a five digit vehicle would be something a CEO should chime in on?

Acquania Escarne 19:49

Yes.

Rudolph Escarne 19:50

So and you're in in that in that same breath when you go you when you you left this house you purposely it had all the decision to go to a car dealership. You sat with a salesman? I presume you got in the car, I also presume and then there was all this paperwork that came out at what point in that journey where you was like, Hey, maybe I should talk to my husband about this before I sign on that I went.

Acquania Escarne 20:13

Oh, I did talk to my husband about getting a car so let's talk about that. So Husband, Dear, did I talk to you well, prior to going to get a car about needing another car, did we did we have it?

No, no, we got right now the point is I agree with you we did not agree on the day of the purchase of the car to the purchase of the car but we had so many things we discussed prior to like when I was on the phone with you to apply for the pre approval loan for the car.

Rudolph Escarne 20:49

What?

Acquania Escarne 20:52

No, that is so true. I remember

Rudolph Escarne 20:54

Acquania you left the house and a car and you came back into the car the first time I found out though the car was purchased or being contemplated when I went into the garage.

Acquania Escarne 21:02

That's not true. Because I applied for the pre approval a week before and was on the phone with you about it because okay, because let's be sure you're right, you're right Before we bought the American Ford car that we ended up purchasing I had done the pre approval with the intent to get a Tesla correct yes or no? Do you remember that the first time the first time we discussed getting a Tesla was actually then and it was because the dealership that I went to had a Tesla on the lot and I remember sitting in the car when I was talking to you and I said so you think I would actually get pre approved for it? Can we even afford a Tesla and that's when I filled out the online application on my phone with USAA for the car loan, I told you how much I was approved pre approved for and then we also had discussions about how my existing car was not gonna pass inspection because that's literally let's be clear I didn't for the listeners sake I didn't just go buy a car because I wanted to sound like we had an existing vehicle that was struggling to pass inspection the multiple times we took it in and it was quite old right I think 10 to 13 years old yeah so not not shiny not a spring chicken so but I will admit that you were not present for the purchase. And that was definitely a ego driven decision as in the moment

Rudolph Escarne 21:52

After after all these years we're finally getting clarity.

Acquania Escarne 22:39

Because I was upset with you. I We had a plan and we had a window and then when it was time to go shopping you were like in your sweats like lollygagging around the house.I was in my feelings.

Rudolph Escarne 22:54

Okay, and you're feeling so you left, you because you I was lollygagging as you say

Acquania Escarne 23:00

You had no intentions of purchasing a car in the same day.

Rudolph Escarne 23:04

You left the house and you were like I'm going to do this and show him. Is that what you want?

Acquania Escarne 23:10

No, no, no. No, not a show.

Rudolph Escarne 23:12

Well, what was the the the endgame there?

Acquania Escarne 23:15

Get a car because I needed a car before my birthday, when the car we had would no longer be drivable for inspection purposes. And now was the only weekend which I thought I had made clear to go car shopping. It was literally the last weekend. We could go car shopping.

Rudolph Escarne 23:34

Okay, so So in that in that entire journey. You was like, hey, if I see something, I'm going to get it and if he and he'll just have to do it. Okay, here's another question. Because we wait, wait,wait, wait, wait, wait. So here's another question for you when you went through this whole thing, you never not once thought, hey, he might have a strong opinion about this.

Acquania Escarne 23:55

I did call you from the dealership first of all, at least once. And I felt like in full transparency. I felt like you didn't care. Because if you cared, there are plenty of things that let's let me start from the beginning. My husband's not a morning person. Okay, my husband is not a morning person. And there are things he will get up in the morning to do and he will get dressed to do and he will go do them proudly. Right? You were not dressed anywhere near getting dressed to go to the dealership to look for a car you just didn't seem like.

Rudolph Escarne 24:30

You're painting you're painting a story that is completely No, I mean never made it you never made it. You never came across that entire day as hey, this is this is the this is the this is decision that we have to do this now, now! You get in French like okay, I may go to Costco I go to Target. Or I may go look at this car. That's the way when you left the house. I thought it was like more in that vein as opposed to like, I'm gonna be very intentional. And I'm gonna go out and buy now.

Acquania Escarne 24:56

No, we were clearly not on the same page. I don't know, I don't know about you. But I don't fill out pre approvals for cars and don't intend to buy one.

Rudolph Escarne 25:06

But you did that week before. So really, what was it? What would a change in 16 hours later?

Acquania Escarne 25:13

The inability to look for a car? Because I. No, No!. Yes. What do you mean?

Rudolph Escarne 25:18

You probably you play, I'll just say there was nothing there was there was no compelling reason to buy a car in that vein, except for, hey, I want to have this ego driven decision and make this thing right now to to show him. No, here's what I walked away with.

Acquania Escarne 25:34

No, I mean, that's what you heard. But that's not what I said. Okay. I said, we had one weekend to buy a car. I had made plans for it to be that Saturday.

Rudolph Escarne 25:44

Okay.

Acquania Escarne 25:44

You were not clearly on the same page. And I didn't understand when we were going to buy a car if we didn't buy that Saturday, because our emissions registration, everything expired. I want to say like that Tuesday. And I wasn't sure about it. But okay, well go. We went on a Saturday, and we knew the car was going to be out of legal status to drive that next week. And I already knew I didn't have time to look for a car during the week. So I don't know, I don't I can't tell you what the right or wrong thing is at this point. Because we you were not in the mindset to buy a car and I had already been determined to get a car because we needed one.

Rudolph Escarne 26:29

What would you advise your people? So they might be in a similar situation? What would be your advice to them?

Acquania Escarne 26:35

We definitely should have talked about it more, because you didn't seem to have the same urgency. I did too by line. I didn't communicate that well enough if you didn't have the urgency, so definitely communicating, and then clearly communicating about it more afterwards, because I had no idea you still felt so strongly about this bothered about that. Yeah.

Rudolph Escarne 26:57

It only happened on June 17 2014.

Acquania Escarne 27:00

It happened in August, but okay. But yeah, and I guess talking about it more, and I will say like we've grown a lot. For those who don't know, I met my husband in college when I was like 19. And that was 20 years ago. So we have come a long way in our communication and in our relationship. But even even then, like this, this is not something we've done again, and we've definitely agreed to that. I do remember that. I remember after the car situation, and we talked about it, and I admitted to doing the wrong thing and getting it anyway. But I also said I wouldn't do something like that again.

Rudolph Escarne 27:41

Because of my visceral reaction, so Okay.

Acquania Escarne 27:43

No, Because I mean, it wasn't it wasn't right. At the end of the day, we have purchased several cars together. That is the only one well, technically you got the Tesla by yourself. But we agreed to it. We knew it was happening. We budgeted for it. I knew. Yeah, yeah, you took a shot. And I took our shot. So we both took our son's car shopping. But you know, by the time we did get the Tesla of your dreams, we were on a much different accord. We were in agreement. And I just said hey, that'd be a great thing to do with your son. So does

Rudolph Escarne 28:18

The Tesla of my train but you drive mostly

Acquania Escarne 28:20

Yeah, well, if I didn't, I said your dreams because I didn't know I wanted a Tesla. But now that I have one, I want another one. But.

Rudolph Escarne 28:29

Okay, that's that's that's the tea session. Okay, we can we can agree to disagree on a bunch of things. But I think it was good to at least get that out. All right, the third stanza the disservice to our boys. So when I'm when I'm with Paul, and all the guys, we sit around, we have these philosophical debates of whether in that our children are we are doing a disservice to our children as far as the way they are growing up versus the way that we grew up. And because I had a humble beginning, you had a whole beginning. I think collectively, we have more of an appreciation for things that we can do financially

Acquania Escarne 29:12

Okay, oh, we just have more money. We can do more things last night. We made, we made more money. And more money, like

Rudolph Escarne 29:22

Your mom had limited resources, but she tried to do everything for you. So it's not I don't want to put it in a quantity perspective. I think you try to focus on things that's important to the child that to yourself, and you make that happen, or that happens.

Acquania Escarne 29:36

Okay, that's fair. But we both have to admit, let me just ask you, um, I don't want to interrupt what you're about to paint. But I just want to be clear to the audience that we both came from single mom households, and now we are a two parent household. Right. So that's a distinction, a two parent working household, and that's a huge difference.

Rudolph Escarne 29:58

Okay, how would you if you had to get into your boys heads, how would you say how would you say that their purpose of money? How are they learning about somebody? Because I have my opinions. I want to make sure that they align to what your opinion is.

Acquania Escarne 30:13

Well, they don't have to. They don't have to be the same. But I do think we're, I think Rashad, our oldest, who has the greatest ability to understand money and how it works really does have a strong sense of it today. I was actually talking to him after church about this local bagel shop. We've been going to this local bagel shop after church for a couple of weeks now. And it's a solo run shop that guy Bardot bagel, shout out to them. He used to bake I think in his home for three years and decided to give space and recently opened and now he has a sign on the door that says he's closing at the end of March. And so Rashad and I went to go get bagels today and they were not available because he closed for the weekend. So I said to Rashad, I said, Oh no, that's so sad. The sign doesn't very clear if it's closing for good or are closing just for the end of March like he did the end of February. But in my spirit, I think he's closing for good. And I was like that's so sad. And Rashad reaction was man, I bet it costs a lot of money to run a business because if you're not making enough money, then you still have the expenses. And those have to get paid. And so maybe he's not making enough money to pay his expenses Rashad is 12. And he totally gets it and doesn't have a business of his own. But he sees me in my business. He sees other businesses and he's always coming up with creative ideas. I've shared this before that, you know my son created a whole convenience store out of our kitchen where he was selling stuff in our pantry and in our refrigerator to his friends and not even giving us a cut and we were buying the supplies.

So I think he gets it and I actually in my spirit. I think Rashad is going to be a teacher, an educator or an entrepreneur because he breaks down really complex concepts really well and he loves to find creative ways to do things and sell you anything I know he's sold rocks out of our garden before, sodas out of our fridge. So I am I'm very eager to see who he becomes. But for Dylan, our youngest who is less able to understand I am grateful that we have the resources we have so that we can have a special needs child who has what he needs and gets the services support and love that he deserves and and I will be honest, we don't have every single thing I'm sure there are plenty of things that we don't even know he could get access to. But when I learn about services he can get access to I apply and I make it possible and that doesn't even have anything to do with money but it definitely helps that we have money and so for that I'm grateful

Rudolph Escarne 33:00

That's that's fair fair on Dylan I think I think being in a position financially definitely helps unlock resources for him a little sometime he overshot Oh yeah, I think I think the same kid that'd be like a really dissect kind of like that, that problem statement or like look, it's probably the expenses are far exceeding his revenue, which is why he's probably sure that I think that same 12 year old is also the same 12 year old number was on was in Miami, we went out for lunch. And and then I was looking at the bill there I look I mean. I mean, I don't want to spend a lot of money because I was like, it's Miami. So like I ordered the sliders and some fries 1199 And like 599 And I think you had a sushi roll. Right? And then we're Rashad's at the menu and he was like he's like this he puts it down and he looks at the waiter is like I get the king crab legs like no you're not getting the king crab legs that says that says MP on it. And he was like what does that mean? I was like that means market price and he was like remember that fresh calm and he said he was like he's like dad like I don't understand like when I look at the menu I'm not looking at the prices I'm just like I'm just getting what I liked and therein lies the problem you need to start looking at prices because that's what. I saw I thought I shut that down. Right remember this? I thought I shut that down you're not getting the MP you're not going to order something more than this the sliders and the fries that the head of the tables ordered.

Acquania Escarne 34:26

Wait for it guys wait for it. It's coming!

Rudolph Escarne 34:29

I go use the bathroom, the oldest place and you'll never guess in a million years what comes out what comes out of my

Acquania Escarne 34:36

King crabs.

Rudolph Escarne 34:38

So So So explain to me the gap between when I laugh and say Rashad you cannot get the king crab like this MP versus the king crackers coming back help them fill in that gap for me real quick.

Acquania Escarne 34:49

So the gap, which I do believe you are witness to was I asked the waiter can the king crabs be shared? And I said that because I had a taste for him too. And I knew I wasn't gonna pay market price for one person who was under the age of 10 at the time to have king crabs, but I might pay for two people to eat them. So when the waiter said it was enough to be shared, and it was actually a really good meal, it was like king crabs was basmati rice and like steamed vegetables. So not too crazy, not too starchy. And I said, Okay, well, let's split it. So that's what happened. We ordered the king crabs, we split it, my son killed those crab legs, and he continues to prove everyday how efficient he is at eating seafood. So not a dime was wasted. But we definitely, you know, we splurge but as I and then I made a reel about it, and it went viral. Because my caption was basically about vacation funds and how in this family we save for vacation every paycheck. So when the vacation comes along the money for the trip, the money for the activities is already taken care of. So if my son wants to splurge on king crabs once, maybe we can do it, and then we don't have any regrets. And we don't go home saying, Man, I wish I had those king crabs. So that was an interesting experience for everyone. I don't know if he still remembers it, but I definitely do. And I still love that reel. It's one of the funniest ones we've ever made. Because my son loves to make reels.

Rudolph Escarne 36:32

The thing the thing that I guess when I when I brought up the topic of like, is it a disservice to our boys? Like, in my head? And I'll speak for reshot? Never, not once did he? Did it Fathom to him like, hey, maybe maybe we can't afford this, which is, which is I mean, there's two ways to look at this, right? So it's like, Hey, are we are we in a well enough place where the things that I had to worry about you had to worry about growing up as no longer factor for him? Or is it to the point where we're painting this false sense of reality that, you know, you can get whatever you want, anytime you want it.

Acquania Escarne 37:08

I think it's a balance. There are definitely certain things that if we wanted to, we could buy them over and over again. But I've put limits in place for this is a real life example. My son likes to eat cookie dough, like every single day. And now you know, they have the cookie dough that you can eat in a cookie dough, you can bake. And so when I buy the cookie dough, I tell him, Hey, you can only eat four pieces a day, four pieces, right? And he's old enough to know math. And yet this cookie dough is not lasting two days. And so knowing that I didn't eat any and you didn't eat any, and Dylan doesn't like sweets. I'm always scratching my head as to why are we always running out a cookie dough in two days. And so, you know, he'll, we've created this new practice where there's a sheet on the refrigerator. And you get to write what needs to be replaced. And he's constantly writing cookie dough. And today, he came up to me and he said, Mom, can you take me to the store? I need to get cookie dough? And I said no. I said because one we're gonna go grocery shopping about once a week, if we go and two, I specifically told you to only eat so many a day. And you've been eating more than that. Because if you weren't eating what we agree to, because mind you we agreed to this amount, then you wouldn't be running out of cookie dough every two days. So somebody's mad at math. And like I told him that I said the math a math and you're eating it faster than you agree to and I'm not going to buy it faster just because I can. So I think he gets that I think he and he said he said okay, you're right. And he walked away and he didn't ask for any more cookie dough today. Now, he'll probably ask you tomorrow.

But that's how we tend to put in boundaries on certain things. And I will also agree that when it comes to big purchases, and we say for those and he knows that, but then you don't necessarily agree with this sometimes but I also make Rashad pay for things like when he talked about when

Rudolph Escarne 39:23

You made you made Rashad count out $31 I think the last $3 that come out in coin, so video games.

Acquania Escarne 39:30

And I took every coin, okay, rolled it up and put it in my bank because I need him to understand that there is a cost to everything and it doesn't always have to be paid for by mom and dad. If you want the video game and I don't want the video game and you have your savings and you have your birthday money, then you should pay for it. And I've been very okay about that. And he's agreed to it. And it makes him think twice because there's some stuff that he's not willing to pay for it and so he says Never mind, but when he thinks I'm paying for it, he wants all the things.

Rudolph Escarne 40:05

Oh yeah, no, I've been I've been in the, in the woods, go buy a video game together with some birthday money he got and we walked in. He was still you at that time, we walked into the to the game store. And he had like to find out $100. And it was like the Madden game, the Madden 21 of the new worlds like 2018 2019. And it was like 6999. And he was like, that's extended, I got $100. And then he went into like the little bit and it was like back in 2014 for like 1999. Let's just get down with update the rosters to current Oh, like that's the same kid that also orders market price crab legs, so I'm just it's weird kind of figuring out which kid is gonna show up that day.

Acquania Escarne 40:49

That's true. And you and I sometimes we go back and forth about this is to treat treating him like an adult versus treating him like a kid. And I think that as he matures, we're going to have different moments where we need to exercise that type of judgement, because there are some lessons, he is still a kid, he's gonna make mistakes, he's gonna get on punishment, and there's consequences of being on punishment. And then there's solutions to how you get off punishment. But then there are other things that you know, he wants a $69 game and he has 100 bucks, he can make that purchase if that's what he wants, but allow him to make that decision. And then that way he decides you know what I want to I actually have a workaround. Rashad is really good about work arounds and thinking outside the box. And I admire that creative thinking with him, because that ensures to me that when he gets into sticky situations, he's probably going to be able to get out, right? But he's still he's still learning. He's still maturing as a person, and he's still deciding what he values. And I love that I love to see it. I don't always agree with his decisions on what he chooses to spend his money on. But I also tell him that you know, if he honestly asked me what do I think I'll tell him if I think that's the best use of his money, and I will still let him make the final decision.

Rudolph Escarne 42:10

I guess. But how do you how do you know? I guess the teachings are giving him about the purpose of money, the value of $1 How do you know it's sticking? And let me ask a question to assess this. Rashad has $100 right now, in your head, what is the appropriate percentage that he would save spend to at 12 years old to see if how you're teaching him about money is working?

Acquania Escarne 42:35

So I would love for him to tie 10% which is $10. I'd love for Him to save half of what he has left and right $45 And then he can spend $45 Rashad does the tithing pretty unconsciously, my son, I used to tell him, then I didn't sometimes I still remind him, but I don't push it. But he is a hoarder. When it comes to money, to be honest, like, I don't know if you notice right now he has like $50 $60, in his little wallet, and he just doesn't even want to spend it. He's not looking to spend it. He's not, you know, some people get money. And they're like, I gotta burn a hole in their hand because they got to spend it yesterday. And he's just like, Ah, I got this $60. If I see something, I'll get it, right. But there are times when he does want to burn a hole in his pocket. It's not often but it'll be like if we're out and he's in a store. And there's just all these things that he sees that he thinks he wants. But as soon as you make him use his own money, then he really processes it. So I think he's learning. I think he's picking up really well on the different gems that we're throwing. But I think it's because we're putting it into regular context in life. We're not making it a class, we're not telling him this is how it has to go. We're living the way that we live. And he's learning. I remember the first time back in the day, when we lived at the Springfield house, he helped me he helped me write cheques and send them off when we still wrote checks for random bills. But I remember one time we were in a grocery store and I swiped my card. And he said, Oh Mom, just get something else and just swipe it and then I had to explain to him that there's money on the other end and you have to have it and he was like really? Oh, okay, well then don't just pick up this and then he became my shopping cart police and I didn't like that too much.

Looking at the list and saying Mommy that's not on the list, but we definitely have come a long way and he's a great accountability partner Rashad will hold you to it. Okay, so I do think

Rudolph Escarne 44:45

When I go back to those those debates we have booked the guy that I think I land on Yes, it's probably at the service as far as the upbringing that he's that the boys are going up with now but I think that's okay, cuz I think that shows it shows growth And we in adults, and also show their look like this is this is a different times that they like now there's, you know, that was the other host of problems that kids today can deal with financial stability isn't one of them. I think that's that's a big thing to provide as a two parent household.

Acquania Escarne 45:18

Yeah, I love that. And I and there's no such thing as financial trauma, right? There's a lot of things I do in my business because I saw my mother's struggle as an entrepreneur. And you know, I was really adamant about hiring a team and getting people to help me so I could make more money because my mom never hired a team. And she only hired me. And I feel like her business stumbled because of it, it didn't get as large or as profitable as it could have been. And so I don't hold any of that against her because it taught me a valuable lesson before I became an entrepreneur. But I could definitely have see it both ways where I could have been discouraged to pursue entrepreneurship because of it. And that financial trauma can sometimes hurt people in a way where they never get over it. But I'm glad that yes, we are able to provide for our kids in a way that they that we didn't necessarily have all the time. But we also make them own up to their responsibilities. Like last summer, our son wanted to quit football and just play basketball. And that was a big family discussion, because we had already paid for it. And I was the CFO arguing that he needs to hold up his responsibility and support his teams and the commitment he made. And you what was your opinion, if you don't mind sharing?

Rudolph Escarne 46:31

Oh, my opinion was similar, like finish what you started giving all you got?That's what I started with.

Acquania Escarne 46:38

I'm gonna call BS on that.

Unknown Speaker 46:41

I

Rudolph Escarne 46:41

Call BS on something that was the truth. Like, what are you talking about? You were very adamant. Finish, once you start it, I regret it. It was kind of like, Hey, you're on punishment until you get back onto the team. But that's besides the point.

Acquania Escarne 46:54

So I'm gonna let my husband slide on that one. But I will say initially, you had a slightly different opinion. And we had to talk as a family with him involved. We allowed him to be a part of that conversation. And we said, look, here's the pros and cons to quitting now, right? We said that here, the pros and cons of quiting now and then we eventually settled on the agreement that he would fulfil his commitment. But then the next year before we signed him up for the sports, he would have to commit again to whether or not he wanted to do them. And I love that we did that because he ended up committing to do them again. But he did it on his own accord and because he wanted to, and he is thriving at football and basketball and doesn't want to quit anymore. But I think at the time, he might have had some biases. You were his coach, you were

Rudolph Escarne 47:44

I was not as if that time was not his coach, but he again your son at times can be very lazy. And I was at a time where I was practising and the practice was really pretty hard. And he was like, I just want to show up for the games. I want to practice.

Acquania Escarne 47:58

Yeah, that was a part of it. But you guys y'all are tough personalities and and

Rudolph Escarne 48:05

it works on personalities. What is it?

Acquania Escarne 48:08

Oh, it is World War Two. I will admit me and my mini me we we are the same in so many ways. And we handle anger very similarly. But we have come a long way to.

Rudolph Escarne 48:22

Best thing ever is watching guys go at it and just eat my popcorn like

Acquania Escarne 48:26

Oh my he tries my patience. Our youngest son cuddles and kisses or shine is He is a mini me He is my challenge on some days and my saving grace on others. God bless him.

Rudolph Escarne 48:42

All right, here's your here's your last would you rather I want to close out with something I always ask people on my team. Okay. All right, the last Would You Rather That's deep. Okay. Would you rather never have to worry about money again? Or never been lonely again?

Acquania Escarne 48:59

Oh, never been lonely. That's easy for me because I'm an only child and I always surrounded myself with friends and family. And you know, Rudolph, you know this, I put family first I put I don't. I don't travel small. I travel with a village. I travel with my village and I am really big about experiences. So I would never want to be alone. And believe it or not like I love our family. I love being together. And then I have my days where as an only child I revert to wanting to be alone. But the days that I want to be with others are so much more than the ones where I want to be by myself.

Rudolph Escarne 49:38

I'd have to see who's there. Like, well, I forgot that third question.

Acquania Escarne 49:45

While you are one of four and

Rudolph Escarne 49:47

I am one of four sometimes you know, one or four that that village to get a little interesting at times.

Acquania Escarne 49:56

Oh, Amen.

Rudolph Escarne 49:58

All right. So last question. So whenever or whenever somebody joins my team and they put me in their role to like, provide mentorship and direction in their career. I always ask them a question. Somebody has a favourite book with it. But the question I always ask them and I'll ask you is if failure wasn't an option, what would you be doing?

Acquania Escarne 50:17

Oh, running my business full time, travelling once a month, if it was okay with my husband, and making breakfast for you guys every morning.

Rudolph Escarne 50:30

Okay. More of like, what what would be your career per se?

Acquania Escarne 50:35

Um, oh, my business, helping helping women and men get life insurance and invest in real estate and, and writing I do email marketing. Now as a side hustle that has been a gift. I love to write and create stories and goals, write and tell stories. And so that has been my new passion. And I've really been feeding into and, and reading I used to read so much. And now I'm starting to get back to that pushing myself to read a devotional, each month, my Bible every morning and something fun in between. What about you?

Rudolph Escarne 51:13

it's a lot more eloquent than my said, I will be an event planner, but the sauces behind yours.

Acquania Escarne 51:18

Yes. But you are such a good event planner, I could see you doing. You pay attention to detail. You put the experiences in there, and you always make sure the accommodations are good. So that's where you and I do really well, we can we can put on a really good trip and you can do your lane and I can do mine and we both thrive. So that's good.

Rudolph Escarne 51:40

So okay, so what do you think that was it? Was that too painful?

Acquania Escarne 51:43

No, I thought that was great. You did a good job. You are definitely a great interviewer. And I was glad to answer your question.

Rudolph Escarne 51:51

Okay. What do you think as far as feedback, what do you think I can do better next time.

Acquania Escarne 51:55

We don't work on your lighting. We're gonna work on your lighting, but I thought you did great. And just remembering background noise that people will hear that in audio, but they won't see it. So that's it. But as a first time podcaster and the first time anyone has ever interviewed me on my show, I think you did a great job. And I'm super grateful that you said yes to this.

Rudolph Escarne 52:19

I send this invoice to them. They like the purpose of money, like how does this work?

Acquania Escarne 52:24

And nobody is paid to be on the show. It is all because it's out of love and genuine.

Rudolph Escarne 52:32

Well, I'm putting this on my 2022 taxes as a 1099. So you can wherever you can worry about that part later.

Acquania Escarne 52:38

All right, got it. All right, guys. I hope you enjoy this show. If you did, don't forget to leave a five star review. Wherever you're listening. Don't forget to share it with friends and family or anyone who would benefit from hearing me and my husband talk about our finances our future and whatever else came to mind. Until next time, keep building generational wealth.

Thank you for listening to the purpose of money podcast. For more resources and information, check out my website, the purpose of money.com and while you're there, please sign up for our newsletter so you have the latest information on new episodes and blog posts. Until next time, keep creating freedom in your life today.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai