Episode 81: Why You Need Life Insurance Outside of Work with Keisha Wheeler

Acquania Escarne 0:00

Hey guys, welcome to The Purpose of Money Podcast. Today, we're going to talk about the importance of having life insurance outside of work and why it is so important for you to do this especially if you have a family.

You are listening to The Purpose of Money Podcast, a podcast where we talk about ways to build wealth and create more freedom in your life today. I am your host Acquania Escarne.

We are joined by special guest, Keisha Wheeler. Keisha Wheeler is a freelance blogger, mom of many, wife to a husband in heaven, and encouraged her to all. With a Bachelor's degree and background in business finance, Keisha has held several positions within corporate America in money management and analytics. In 2020, Keisha tapped into her true calling and obtained a Master's in Biblical Counseling at Luther Rice College & Seminary alongside her husband, Patrick. Together, they started an outreach ministry in Tampa, Florida, where she still serves as Director of Outreach and administration. When she is not serving as a lake counselor, Keisha is committed full time as a homeschool mom, mentor, counselor, and legacy steward of her seven children. Hey, Keisha, welcome to the show.

Keisha Wheeler 1:26

Thank you for having me.

Acquania Escarne 1:28

I'm super excited to have you here today to share your story. I was really touched by your transparency and willingness to reach out to me. So listeners I just want to tell you like this is a true story of God's testimony and connecting me to the people that I can most serve, because I posted a real about the importance of having life insurance outside of work. And Keisha hit me up in my DMs. So if you ever want to talk to me just know, I'm reading my DMs and I am going to be the one to respond. So Keisha went into my DMs and sent me a message basically affirming that that was so true. And she gave me a little bit of insight into her story, which we're going to talk about today. And that's what led to this amazing interview. So first, I want to talk about you Keisha, how did you and your husband Patrick meet because I know this is a beautiful story.

Keisha Wheeler 2:28

Awesome. Yeah. So my husband and I met we were we met in church in college, we both went to school until I see. I went to Florida State, he went to Florida A&M. And so we met in the church, I was actually on my way, moving back to Indiana. I had come to Florida to go to school, and let's just kind of miss it home feeling like maybe it wasn't my vibe. And my friend invited me to his church. And after that, I never left. So it was like, you know, from there, it just was everything.

Acquania Escarne 2:57

What was it about him? Did you was it the way he looked? Was it something that he said to you like, what made you so interested in this man?

Keisha Wheeler 3:05

It was absolutely a God thing because I was not interested. And I told him all the time, I was like, Oh, you're not my type. You're so kind. I've been telling me, you know, you'd be a great husband to somebody, but probably not me. I'm busy. I ain't got time for this love match. You know, I was definitely about my business. I had like three jobs literally trying to pay out of state tuition when I met him. I was not, you know, here for that. And clearly, you know, he just kept pursuing he's like, God told me you're gonna be my wife and he was right.

Acquania Escarne 3:31

Wow. So how long did you guys date?

Keisha Wheeler 3:35

We dated for right about two years, I believe. And then we got engaged. And we graduated college and then got married the fall after that.

Acquania Escarne 3:46

Okay, that's, that's pretty dope. So how did you go from one to seven kids? Just curious. Was that planned?

Keisha Wheeler 3:53

No. And I think a lot of people I'm sure it was God's plan. But I'm still sitting here real in like, how do I have seven kids? Even when I say it, I text my sister. I'm like, seven kids? Like, do I really have seven kids? No multiples. But he was an amazing dad and love kids and created an environment like yo, we have got to be fruitful and multiply. I love the babies. I love you. Big Family, big family. And I really didn't have time to think about it after that first one, then other ones just kind of kept rolling in, I kid you not. So we ended up at seven the number of completion which is crazy, because you know, we had our last baby and then, you know, he went to be with Jesus. So..

Acquania Escarne 4:33

Okay, so you've kind of segued this into that. So let's talk about the last few months before your husband died. What was happening in your life at that time? Give us a little bit of context of, you know, were you prepared for him to pass away or was it a complete surprise?

Keisha Wheeler 4:52

You know what it was a complete surprise anything is a complete surprise when he was starting on and we were busy. We were just like our normal selves. I mean, I always call them God's favorite. Patrick was in ministry since I met him. I mean, he was preaching God's word and praying over people at 19 like, it was the craziest thing he truly had a love for the Lord. And and that just played on every part of his life. So we've been in ministry the whole time, we've been you know, giving out food to the less fortunate since we met like this was this was who we are, we serve people. So anyway, we had just sold our home in South once a South Riverview, and we were like his commute is too long, our churches too far, you know, we kind of were tired of being down in this area of this market, you know, let's just get out of it. So we went ahead sold our house, we had just moved into Brandon, which is another suburb, but it's you know where we started at. So we love to have our friends here was closer to everything. We had literally just moved, just moved, put our stuff in, get just started get a routine, I homeschool my kids. So we were just setting up for the school year. And we were just working, you know, trying to work on new routine. I just started a notary business in October. Right before, you know, he passed in December. So I just started notary business, I have my little meeting with the SBA, I was like, this is what I want to do, because I want to do something to get my husband a little more free time. So he can minister and write and raise our family, you know, so I just done that. So we were getting ready to go out and do the community outreach. He had my kids with them. Long story short, he felt a pain in his chest, we took him to the hospital. It was a torn aorta, and they did emergency surgery, the surgery went well, but His body did not tolerate the shock of the surgery. Six days later, you know, we had to say goodbye. So it's still like even just telling you that story right now is still super fresh. It's still super crazy, you know, but helping people is our passion. We've always done it. So this opportunity with you to be able to help somebody tell them how, Hey, I wasn't, this wasn't on our radar and then subsequently, this is what happened. You know.

Acquania Escarne 7:03

Wow, that's so emotional. It's like kind of got me too. I've been with my husband since college as well. I've known him to about 20 years. And you know, he's in the greatest health of his life. So I believe you know, and to have something just suddenly happen like that, and then have less than a week to accept that you're gonna have to say goodbye that. That is powerful. Is Overwhelming, I'm sure is.

Keisha Wheeler 7:33

Yeah. And it's our faith that keeps us but it's definitely one of those megaphone moments like, Hey, you do not have the time you think you have maybe, you know,

Acquania Escarne 7:44

Yes, absolutely. So tell us what happened after that. Um, what did you have to do? As a, as a wife who just lost her husband? You know, what are some tips maybe that you could even give to moms who might have to help their children, you know, in that situation?

Keisha Wheeler 8:01

Yeah. Well, one of the biggest things is he and I were both big mental health advocates. So we knew community was going to be important. We knew counsel was going to be important. I had to just like, go through the list and you know, at that time, it was still partly, you know, pandemic. So everyone wasn't saying, you know, people in person, and I was like, No, this loss is huge. My husband was super dad, super husband, super pastor, everything, we need to be able to see somebody face to face. So that was one of the first things I didn't, you know, line up the counseling. I also, you know, that was his benefits administrator, he had one of the biggest things that I want to tell anybody right now is, if you are moving jobs, make sure that you have everything closed off and aligned with your new job. He had literally just gone through open enrollment, I didn't get a chance to sit down with him. I was running out to a notary appointment. We, you know, I was just like, Babe, you gonna have to work it out. I trust you. We didn't get a chance to have that talk. And like less than two weeks later, about two weeks later, he was in hospital. And I was having to call in and get his benefits information, because it just changed, you know. So that's one tip, make sure that if you are moving jobs, that you have all of your information, you know, updated and ready to go. Thankfully, my husband was asked to me yet, all of his, his salary and everything was coming into an account that I had access to. So we were fine in that regard. And that was a blessing. He did that. But that was one of the first things I had to do was get his benefits. So trying to talk to HR trying to, you know, dissect, did he have this did he have that. And in the situation, I was told that he didn't have anything. And I just knew that that wasn't like him. You know, we were taught early on we went to business school, we both, you know, have Bachelor's in Business. So we learned, insure yourself early on, max it out. So we were leaving a company that had taken really good care of us. We knew our benefits. We weren't, he was there for eight or nine years. So we had gotten comfortable. Okay, so we move on to this other company. It's little bit smaller, different setup, the benefits want us to pop. So our problem was we did not have insurance outside of his job. And there was a time when we did, but life just kind of started happening, you know, and you're thinking, Oh, I got some insurance. Oh, I got this. That's what you're thinking. Never, like ever, you know, even when we were writing the time, I'm like, Okay, we'll do time like assurance here, blah, blah, blah, but we won't need it, you know, we'll have to re-up. I mean, I'm thinking about that nobody's thinking that he's going to leave this earth at all. So we were just kind of caught like, just stunned. So that's one of the things now if we had sat down to have this conversation, I would have known right then that the gap was about $250,000 difference from what he had all those years to what he had on his new job, which put us in a totally different financial situation.

Acquania Escarne 10:56

Wow. So let me break that down for those who are listening. So essentially, what Keisha is saying is her husband Not only had he recently changed jobs, which changed his benefits, he was also with a new company that offered very different benefits. So in his previous job, where he'd been for several years, they knew they had $250,000 in life insurance, at least or more, right? So they knew that God forbid, something had happened to him, they would have had that money to help pay for the housing, the kids, education, whatever came up. But by changing jobs in the first 30 days, not only did he change health providers, but he also didn't have the same life insurance benefits. And we'll get into the details of what he did have. But I just want you guys to remember that when you're changing jobs, it's really important to ask the questions, how soon will I have coverage, life insurance, health insurance? What benefits do I have, right? And what don't I have? Because had they sat down and been able to have that conversation, Keisha would have realized, you don't have enough life insurance, period, inside work outside of work, you don't have enough life insurance. So tell us a little bit more about that conversation, when you finally did approach his job to ask what life insurance does he have? What was their response?

Keisha Wheeler 12:20

So what the first response was kind of like, we have a small policy that we give everybody, but he didn't get extra. And, you know, looking back on it, of course, I wish I had that said I had that conversation. Because we normally did. You know, we knew what we knew, what we knew. So they were just like, Okay, well, he just has the standard policy that we give everybody and that's it. And I was just like, Okay, I'll take that, you know, it wasn't much. But then I was like, but that doesn't sound like my husband not to get more. So I asked again, and I got the same response, like, you know, this is all. So I asked a third time I said, if he had opted for more, what's that contact, let me get that contact, got that contact, called the company myself. And they were like, I'm sorry for your loss, he did have an additional couple $1,000. And we will get that process started for you now. So it's one of those things where make all the calls, you know, make all of the calls, make sure that you, you know, I knew it, I knew who he was, and he would not ever not for life, he took care of us, he loved us too much for that, you know, and so it just I just looking back, I'm just like, it just wasn't a conversation that we sat down to have, but we should have, because it really didn't make a difference. Just changing the jobs made a difference, because we could have grabbed the outside policy, and we shut up. So what I did probably within the first 30 days of that happening, I insure myself for 350k. You know, I was just like, you know, even though you know, I don't officially work, you know, I was just like I don't ever want anybody have to worry about where my kids are going to stay XYZ all the extra sports that have to happen, all the counseling, all the co-pays all of that. I didn't want to leave that on anybody else. So I went out immediately and got myself his shirt.

Acquania Escarne 14:10

Yes, I love that you took immediate action and make sure that you were covered. And I know that doesn't necessarily make up for your husband and his passing. But at least you had an opportunity to learn a lesson that you could teach others and share with everyone here today, the importance of getting life insurance. And now as the single mom, the main breadwinner for your family, you are now the main person who needs to be insured because you're right. If something was to happen to you, your children's still needs to be provided for it it's not fair to assume that the family member who would end up taking care of your children would also have the financial means to do so. A lot of us as parents were always nervous about having kids, let alone having the finances to have kids. So it's unfair to assume that a relative who never intended to raise your kids, all of a sudden has to make that their financial responsibility too. So I commend you for taking that action and immediately taking that action based on the fact that you are personally still dealing with the consequences of not having enough life insurance outside of work. Okay, Keisha, so now that you've gone through the experience of losing your husband, what are some tips that you have for others who needs to prepare their spouse for when this might happen?

Keisha Wheeler 15:31

Definitely, one of the biggest things is put beneficiaries on all bank accounts, all credit cards, if you have them, if you have the option, insure your credit cards, and we didn't have a lot of debt at all, it was very minimal. So I had one card that I had life insurance benefit on it, and it paid the balance, definitely put the beneficiaries on all your accounts, they will not ask at the banks. So you have to let them know you have to specifically ask I need to put a beneficiary on my account. Another thing is to open up credit union accounts, they have benefits, I found out that once we opened up savings accounts for my kids, I took my husband's 401k, liquidated it and opened them up savings accounts and bought them a couple stocks. The credit union came with a complimentary a $2,000 life insurance benefit for each child. And that's something that people don't know. So definitely check with your credit unions. Definitely get life insurance outside of your job for both spouses and kids. Just have a solid understanding of your benefits on your current job, and any potential outstanding time policies that you may have had. Update everything with HR update, if you added a child, if you change your address is you know, somebody passed away, there was a beneficiary, add everybody, update HR all the time, and cash out and reinvest your 401 K, if that is a better option for you, then the company, you know the company's management.

Acquania Escarne 17:06

I love those tips. Thank you so much for sharing those. And I really appreciate you just being transparent about your journey and how you have really learned enough to share with others and you're not afraid to tell your story. Thank you.

Keisha Wheeler 17:20

Thank you.

Acquania Escarne 17:21

So I love to talk more about, you know, what are you up to now? And how are you continuing to handle this grief because I understand grief is it can come and go.

Keisha Wheeler 17:33

Oh my gosh, it is you know, it's crazy because it's any given day, you know, I have a beautiful two year old and you know, people say stuff like oh, she's the baby tadada. She still asks for her dad. I mean, he's that kind of guy, he put them to sleep at night, he prayed them to sleep at night, he did devotional with him in the morning, they will write him notes on his way to work. So, you know, as far as one of the things that's helping us, I call it friend therapy right now, I have a beautiful friend who's taking care of my babies, and their kids are playing together. And it's that kind of thing. This morning, we have sports, you know, we always got something to look forward to because this is the day like it's Saturday, you know, it's Dad's Day, he's home finally from work, and we got them all to ourselves. And I know we can't replace that. So we have to do what my husband will say is keep it moving. And we physically keep it moving. You know, they're involved in different kinds of sports and outreach, they still volunteer at food banks, they still go get food to the less fortunate. So that's what we're up to, currently, and just blogging our journey, because we have so many beautiful people and prayer warriors who are, you know, just rooting us on people who loved my husband, well, you know, who are just rooting us on, he had a book that was ready that I was able to help work with the company and get it published for him. So we're just kind of trying to walk in the legacy, but also walk in our reality. And it's stupid, and we hate being here. But we just love being able to help other people. And with my kids, they're so strong, you know, they help me, you know, they talk about it, we do all of the counseling all of the groups, you know, and so it's definitely challenging, but staying busy and being helpful to others and sharing our story. It really is life-giving.

Acquania Escarne 19:18

I love what you said, walking in his legacy and living in our reality. Guys, this is so powerful and such an amazing story. The last thing I want to touch on for those who don't know, because there may be people out there who have not suffered this type of loss. But one of the things that I do go over with my clients when we're doing a financial analysis is how to maximize your Social Security benefits. And one of the things that things that people don't realize is Social Security is not just for retirement. There's also a small portion of it that you're paying into, in the event that you die too soon your survivors receive a little bit of income to help them to continue on, and especially when some of your survivors or minor children who are eligible for that benefit until the age of 18. So I just want people to know, suffering any loss is very substantial, it can impact your life and definitely can be something that you handle in ways but Keisha has been very forthcoming and honest and just beautiful in the way that she's expressed her story and what she's gone through. But financially, you know, how do you feel? I know that you're still figuring it out. And maybe Social Security is helping, but have you been able to navigate your finances alone? I'm not sure when you were together? Did you and your husband do the finances together? Or was one person more responsible for them than the other, so you had to catch up quick?

Keisha Wheeler 20:54

Well, actually, thankfully, I, my degree is in finance. So of the two of us, it was always thee and it was good. And in my season of loss, it's been good because it's kept me busy, to be honest with you. And anytime that I do something that I say is a part of the old Keisha, handling finances, handling business, making moves, doing things for our ministry, that's that's the old me and that's the me that I like, you know, that's to me that I miss, I miss me that was tag teaming with my husband, you know, and so I am still figuring out the situation with the social security and our knees because it's, first of all, there's definitely a is definitely a deficit from what my husband was making and so security, and on top of that, we had just started renting, after you know, being comfortable in a mortgage payment is different. So trying to balance this, that trying to balance, the new, the rent, because I had to re sign the lease and all that kind of thing. But also something new is the new expenses that we have. See, there's a very big gaping space right now where my husband was. And so we have to do things, we have to do extracurricular activities, we have to do art classes, we have to do field trips, we have to somehow be out of the house sometime, just because it's too tricky being here. So trying to balance that all and figure out where to fit in these extra expenses that are necessary for our survival at this point, you know, because it is a very unique loss and a huge win for us. So I'm comfortable working through it, we've been having just some beautiful people who just have sewn into our lives just like, hey, y'all have blessed us just existing. You know, you didn't know this one time when your husband called me or came for me, and, you know, a bless my life. So I want to give to you guys. And so we've had a lot of beautiful generosity during that time. And so I feel comfortable navigating it, I actually have an appointment with a mortgage broker next week, so that I can see how close or far are we from going ahead and getting into a permanent situation again, and I'm not looking forward to buy my first house without my husband, you know, but this rent is crazy. And so we got to make that move.

Acquania Escarne 23:14

I hear you sis and I love that has fade so beautiful. So I, I'm sure you know that the name of the podcast is called The Purpose of Money. So I ask all of my guests this question, what is your purpose for money?

Keisha Wheeler 23:31

My purpose for money honestly, is just to fund what it is that you love to do what it is that you are called to do. And to help you to fund anything that will help you with your mental, your emotional, your spiritual, your physical health. It is to support you and the livelihood that you pursue in the path that God has for you.

Acquania Escarne 23:52

Absolutely, I love that. And that's beautiful. So before we go, I'd love for you to tell all of my listeners, how can we find you online or social media so that we can follow you and support you in any way we can?

Keisha Wheeler 24:05

Awesome. Well, we just started a website called servingwith7, the number seven dot com. So serving with the number seven dot com. There you can find our blog information, other information on how to support our whole family at this time. And also we just started an Instagram but I'm still kind of struggling with so you guys, have you asked for tips, let me know. But it's @servingwith7 the number seven and I'm just trying to post like daily things about what we're going through and hoping that our journey can encourage and inspire others.

Acquania Escarne 24:36

Absolutely. I know that it is, it has been an inspiration to me and I thank you for sharing this story with our listeners today. Guys, take note, check out the show notes so you can check out the blog and until next time, keep building generational wealth.

Thank you for listening to The Purpose of Money Podcast. For more resources and information. And check out my website thepurposeofmoney.com. And while you're there, please sign up for our newsletter so you have the latest information on new episodes and blog posts. Until next time, keep creating freedom in your life today.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai